Today a new topic here :: how to become a ***-blogger. In the traditional style of haiter, I naturally start with the mommy-bloggers. So here we go !
How to be a good mommy-blogger.
1. Be catholic !
Most of the religions in the north-western part of our planet ALLOW you to use condoms. Our pope, even the newest one (damn how long is that german c*nt gonna be pope actually), doesn’t allow us to use any of those, or other things that avoid you from having kids. So be a ‘fucking’ catholic in the first place to become a good mommy-blogger.
2. Be a good cook, because one day you might become granny. And who will we consult if we need little tricks for meals and guests? Granny’s blog off course.
3. When having a shower, use the mirror in front of you! What you don’t have a mirror in front of your shower? YOU NEED ONE! It is very important that you can admire your b(o)(o)bies as a mommy-blogger, otherwise you might not be able to impress the ‘tough guys’ at BE-Shoutbox.
5. BTW speaking off b(_)(_)bies, they’ll better be BIG… anything under a mouthfull will fail! And trust me I got a big mouth.
6. It is really important to us that you let your kids kill eachother while you are writing your newest post. What would you write about the next morning ? And don’t forget the pictures bout the war on the floor! Spice them up with some… er yeah with some what ? Damn you’ve forgotten that you have a roast in the oven !
7. Off course you know every… FUCKING HELL !
I just don’t know what to write, this is boring. Can’t even burn one of them without falling asleep… I think I must start drinking again. Bio where did you hide all the vodka ?
2 have made me smarter ↓
1 Ms Chatty // Apr 10, 2006 at 11:41 pm// View all comments by Ms Chatty//
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Well shit,
I’m not Catholic. I don’t have kids. I have big boobs and I can cook but I failed miserably at the rest. Should I then kidnap small children so that I can blog about their poop and stupid things they said throughout the day?
I also don’t want to go into the Shoutbox. People tend to get their balls in a bunch when I do.
Fuck it.. no mommy blogging for me.
2 Tracy // Apr 11, 2006 at 12:53 am// View all comments by Tracy//
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#1 Guess I’m going to hell cause I ain’t Catholic.. oh wait, is there a hell if I’m not Catholic? Fuck!
#2 I am an awesome cook
#3 Huh?
#4 Where did you learn to count?? No #4!!!
#5 46DD big enough for ya?
#6 Never a problem here!
Now WTF do these
7things have to do with Mommy Blogging?? :)I’m a mom. I have a blog. That does not make me a Mommy Blogger!! It doesn’t!!