Am I Famous Now…

RB’s comment on my last post pretty much sums up everything.

Damn those colours made me sick, but luckily I don’t have my blog as my own homepage in my browser. And I rarely comment, so the mail notification does the job. Lucky me. And it all was just a joke.

But like I already wrote some days ago, I have not that much of motivation anymore for this blog. I started a new design and have been sitting in front of it for days already. It just can’t tempt me. Mainly I have been trying to kick myself and ‘restart blogging’ in the last days, but it just isn’t my thing, my world. Obviously popularity and comments and all that stuff majorly rely on networking/cliques. Second of ‘em I really loathe.

But also… this blog started as a ‘nothing special’ and I have played quite a lot here, not always with a positive/expected result. Today almost every fuck in my life knows my blog. It became my ‘girlies private diary’ except for one… loads of people still seem to read it.

I can’t speak/write openly here anymore.
The ‘bitching part’ surely was fun, but is very contra-business.
Personal stuff? Some people reading here limit me since weeks in my posting freedom.
Techie stuff? Hell that’s me. All my former websites were computer related. Did I share something about myself? No fucking way! Actually I enjoy those ‘quick blurps’ and posts no one is interested in because everyone and three persons have already read that crap somewhere else. I enjoy ‘fast and short contacts’. That is what I like about bartending.

Lately my life pretty much sux. Leaving my employer was the biggest fucking error I made in the last years, although I have made several other ones. Immigration laws were the second one.
I got no clue lately, my functionality is limited to almost zero and my mind is fucked up. I don’t manage a fucking thing lately.

I still have to do things I promised months ago already. And I just don’t manage it to tart any of ‘em. When I try, my browser window is in front of me and will soon get closed without any done.

But fuck it, I’ll get my balls together again, prepare an intermediate template in the next hours and fucking get out of this pathetic ‘deep’ I am experiencing the last weeks.
I’ll start bitching again (some people won’t like it, I can say that now already). I will post againwhatever I want, no matter who the fuck reads here and if they might like it or not, it is my damn diary. But I will also post more geeky stuff (I have found a nice way to implement that).

And I’ll get my eyes over to your blogs again as well. I already implemented the blogroll in my testblog. And my google homepage is working nicely, so I am remembered of you again as well.